tonight, all I want is a bottle of wine. my daughters are fighting. then they are apologetic and fakey-nice. they act like they are scared I will explode. "thank you mommy for dinner. it's really good," says one, super-cheery. it's creepy. there is a tension and egg-shells and a black mood hanging over the dining room and I don't know how to lighten it.
I just want a bottle of wine: the first sips warming my insides, the glass twinkling like christmas lights, then soft limbs, release. soft mind. release.
and i don't exactly know why I don't just go and get and open and gobble a bottle of wine.
I don't have any reason not to.
and a hundred reasons why I think I should. and how i think this moment could be so easily improved. and how I could, at least, escape. and how i really really really want to escape.
so why did I go to that meeting today? what in the hell am i going to do?
LOL. I don't mean to laugh, but I was along for that ride with the opening of the bottle you bugger!! I don't know if living vicariously through people who take drinking for granted (like its a treat) is going to cut it. 56 Days dry now and am in the reasoning phase...why did I quit again? Oh ya, I have no control, right. Nice blog- Ill be following. Not sure about the other one about how much your sweat stinks, but Im sure you are on to something there hun :)
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